There's a soft serenity and warmth in the way every word he says feels exactly like home. I'm safe, guarded, nurtured in the strong warm arms wrapped around me, attached to the soft pleasant, but tough and rugged hands now extended out with his thumb ever so gently caressing the side of my face. And as i feel the sensation of the brushing of his thumb against the dimple on my cheek I cant help but to smile and let out a sigh of relief - a soft moan from the pleasure of knowing this comfort is exactly what I needed, this is exactly where I am supposed to be. As the noise around me dulls and the sun sets i feel his lips lightly pressed against the back of my neck. The warm breath sending signals darting through my body. I hear his breathing, and feel his heart beating in pace with mine. Instinctively, he pulls me in tighter to him. Every so often his body jerking and gripping my hand tighter making sure i'm still there. But I don't want to leave, I couldn't leave. not permanent;y, not voluntarily.

In the morning the sun beams through the curtains and i wake up the same way I fell asleep; tangled in the strong masculine arms blanketing me. I look behind me and his gazing, piercing green eyes reminding me of a misty forest on a cold morning after a fresh rain are met with mine, followed by a smile and without a word, I know he's happy. Mulling over, we fight leaving the bed. The warm embraces tempt our tired eyes and it seems too easy to ignore the rest of the world and lay together entranced in a sea of blankets and eachother, savouring the moment as it soon will be put on pause again until next time. And so we exchange kisses and silly jokes and we finally take on the day together. Setting off on adventure after wild adventure and creating vivid memories wherever the road takes us. His hand rests on my thigh, inviting my fingers to interlock, and when i do, his firm grip reminds me how much i want to feel that grip forever. Like our hands were perfectly designed for eachother. His playlist loads and he mutters his favourite songs under his breath and i can tell the ones that mean the most to him because he increases the volume ever so slightly but then immediately returns his hand to my grip - only this time just a bit tighter.

He has this slight little smirk every time he talks to me and Ive become good at masking my red face but inside I'm a puddle. I still haven't gotten passed the butterflies, while every visit becomes easier and more comfortable. seeing him is like a jolt of energy rushed right to my heart. I awaken, and suddenly i have all these feelings. Happiness, generally not a word I've used in the most recent while but all other words escape me. A feeling of appreciation, confidence, as if someone finally sees value in who i am and what i have to offer. It all culminates, its turned me into who I am now, a much more centered, understanding and caring person.

I've felt a sudden surge to initiate more. for awhile my creative side had abandoned me and i struggled finding inspiration, but more and more as the layers unravel, he tells me how talented he sees me and i believe it, i believe it so much that i grab paper and i start sketching again. no specific idea, i just let whatever flows through to speak for itself. he buys me a sketchbook, and i don't think he realizes how special it is to me. To know that someone believes in your passions and encourages you, its a feeling i haven't felt in a really long time. sometimes things happen for a reason, I dont know how or why but the world synchronized in my favour enough for our paths to meet and here I am. Like a deer caught in headlights im smitten by these feelings, when out of my worst possible moment i was rescued and given a second go at a fair shake in life. those three words that I used to throw around aimlessly now hold so much merit and i don't take it lightly. But when those words escape his mouth they surround me, i believe it.

it's 10 to 2am, the only light is the soft glowing pink from the salt lamp and the light reflecting in my face from my laptop screen. My tired eyes have been fighting sleep, but this is a battle where i'm willingly accepting defeat. until next time,

Michael