I have been neglecting a lot of things lately. Oddly enough, I've had so much on my brain that its almost baffling that i haven't bled out on my keyboard to update this damn journal. My world has been shaken. Positively, negatively, all of the above. Its been a lot to process over recent days, but I have to say, having who you consider the love of your life tell you how much you mean to him and how much he misses you can seriously turn any bad day into the best day ever. I'm so madly in love its not even funny. Home doesn't feel like home anymore, i just want to be with him always. I'm ready. I want to just go there and stay for once, not have to leave. And I know these things take time, and I know that I'm unbearably impatient which only makes it more frustrating- I still know how absolutely lucky I am.

I've found someone who makes me want to come home as much as my bed does, hold onto that person. Because its very rare in life that we find such a comfort in common things like the sound of someones voice, or the way their eyes reflect in the sunlight, or the way they smell - and how wearing their shirt you never want to wash it because every time you smell it you cant help but smile. I stay up staring at the ceiling, thinking about him, wondering if he does the same. I listen to songs that remind me of him because it feels like he's with me when we aren't together, and it always reminds me of him holding my hand in the car when we drive down quiet Ohio roads.

The impression that has been left on my heart is so real and I know he feels it too. So when he says that he'll be with me always I believe it. Those words like fireworks shooting through my body. I feel calm and yet my heart beats both faster and slower at the same time and its crazy cause I've never felt that way about anyone or anything before. Honestly articulating the way I feel about him never feels good enough, there's so much I want him to know but never know how to say it. But if only he could know that I've never loved anyone as honestly and truly as I love him, then I will find great peace in that.

But for now, I will continue to trek on through this wild adventure that we've started, knowing our goals are getting closer and one day very soon we will have eachother always. And nothing excites me more than reaching that goal, the reality we will have. I cant wait.

He'll probably read this laughing at how ridiculously cheesy and corny I'm being. Im sappy - I know it. But every word I've written is true. But enough of the incoherent babbling. My stomah is growling at me so it's time for dinner.

-Michael