Sounds so soulful don't you agree
I invented swag
Poppin bottles putting supermodels in the cab
Proof :I guess I got my swagger back
Truth: new watch alert, Hublot's
Or the big face Rollie I got two of those
Arm out the window through the city I maneuver slow
Cock back, snap back
See me cut through the holes
The Throne - Otis

Well, here we are. At the pivotal moment in my life where I have chosen to take a stand and put my big boy shoes on. Needless to say I have chosen to push negative aspects of my life out of it, frankly it is turning me into a stronger person. This summer has opened my eyes drastically and has allowed me to mature, and I didn't even think it was possible.

Obviously if you've been a follower of my blog (undoubtedly there's not many left) you will have noticed the swift decay of my blog initiative, however, i now feel as though I have things to blog about again. High school is all the same, that's why i never really had much to talk about, my life has officially started, and the nonsense is thrown out the door.

I have one last thing to do before I start college, than i will official be ready to grow up, it's been a long time coming, but I like this new me, I like him a lot.

I mean, why should I have to sit around and appease the needs of others? In the longrun, I'm not benefiting myself, and in the end, I should respect myself. So to the people who expect me to be what they want, I say goodbye. If I'm not the person you want me to be, than why am i bothering with you - really, it's nonsense. To those of you who see the real me and appreciate it, I thank you. Your love and respect has allowed me to understand who and where I need to be in my life. And I finally get it.

I'm not going to run around like a chicken with it's head cut off, I'm manning up, and it's about time I grabbed life by the balls, because I'm no longer going to settle.

I am Myself, I will always be myself, if that isn't good enough for you; sayonara.

On a brighter note, I am looking forward to college, I'm not scared and I want to experience everything it has to offer. Because frankly, my summer was depressing to say the least, no good really came out of it and I've been forced to mask emotions that i don't want to anymore, and I wont.

Oh, and I'm officially under 200 lbs again! I have not been this skinny since the start of grade ten, the highest I got was 240 lbs, and to finally weigh 195lbs, i feel like I have accomplished something. I worked so hard for it, its a little depressing still being shot down and still being called 'fat' or 'chubby' but really it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. Whats sad is I used to be too afraid to take my shirt off in front of some friends that I considered friends, horrible to think that people you thought cared about your feelings had no problems poking at your insecurities. But i have to understand, some people aren't ready for life changes, and some people want to grasp what little youth they have left. However, it's not me anymore.

Sure, I can enjoy parties and drinking, but that doesn't mean that I have to treat life like a joke, reality hit me hard - I need to grow up and stop taking things so seriously, life changes, friends change and people change. And I need to make a few changes in all three aspects. I know who my real friends are, and I love them. As far as I am concerned I will have a long lasting relationship with them, and i can only hope they feel the same way.

Anyways I'm tired, gonna go rest a bit,
thanks for reading :)

Anjulie - Brand New Bitch

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